jlhypnosistherapy@gmail.com

Month: March 2021

  1. Homepage
  2. March 2021
March 29, 2021

Relationships by Janet Lynas, Ph.D., N.H.D.

Relationships are hard. It’s very difficult to maintain a connection through the years. However, I have been looking at people who have a long-term link with one another.

What is a relationship?

Relationship is defined as the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

Therefore, how we connect the dots, so to speak, determines how strong the bond is. The list on different relationships is long. However, I’m addressing the most four common types of relationships.

The four most common types of relationships include:

  1. Family
  2. Friends
  3. Work related
  4. Romantic
Family Connections

Above all, I think the family alliance is the most difficult to maintain. In other words, we don’t get to choose our family, at least in most cases. I didn’t choose who my birth parents were, but I did get to choose who my adopted father is.

Being born into a family doesn’t mean you will bond with that family group or even like them. Families put the greatest amount of pressure on us. For example, as one matures, family values may not resonate with our internal values. This causes conflicts. The conflict is so intense that family dynamics breakdown and are never repair. I know a family who had to hire a mental health therapist to observe their interactions and teach them how to get along with one another.

In some families, the interconnection comes easy. They are the lucky ones. Above all, we have to remember the majority of families are a combination of each extreme. It takes work to stay connected as a family especially as the group changes. Children grow up, older  members die off.

Therefore, as the family nucleus changes, it’s harder to stay in touch with each other.

Friendships

I get to choose my friends. As a result, it’s easier to like those people in my circle of contacts. Friends come and go. If you have one true friend, you’re lucky. To continue the bond through decades is remarkable. I have a dear friend who has been in my life for several decades. That is to say, we have gone years without seeing each other, but when we reconnect, it’s like we saw each other yesterday. We both moved back to our childhood home town several years ago. She moved back the first of April and I moved back home at the end of that April. No matter where life takes us, the entanglement we share from our childhood will stay strong.

The thing about friendships is that they are not all destined to last a lifetime. Friends ebb in and out of our lives like the waves on a shoreline. Some are meant to last for a short time. Others for a little longer. Cherish these connections.

Coworkers

Oftentimes, we spend more time with coworkers than we do with family or friends. This relationship is tricky. The experiences we share on the job creates an impact on the workplace. The workplace is either a place one looks forward to going or one that is dreaded. Having said this, there’s really very little in-between. How do you navigate through these channels?

  • Set boundaries
  • Keep home at home and work at work
  • Maintain a balance between work and personal time
  • Save the chit chat with coworkers for break time
Romantic relationships

This is the most mystical alliance of all to me. I look at my friends and family who have been married for over 30 years. On the outside, it appears that their marriage is a “happily ever after” fairy tail. But, in reality these marriages have their ups and downs like any other long-term connection. I learned in these romantic links the couples have made a point to communicate clearly with each other. The partner may not always like what the other one is saying, but they manage to work through the difficult times.

There are times in these partnerships that they don’t even like one another. However, they seem to work through the situations and survive.

In summary

How do we have meaningful relationships?

  1. Be honest at all times. Speak your truth will kindness, compassion and consideration. Choose your words. In other words, think before you speak.
  2. Put in the effort. Don’t just show up expecting the other people involved to do all the work.
  3. Show respect to the individual you’re with. If you don’t show respect to them, how can you expect for them to be respectful toward you?
  4. Don’t judge. You never know the full story. When we judge others, we’re blocking them into a corner and not open to see the full picture. You don’t want to be judged. Don’t do it to others.
  5. Set boundaries. Don’t apologize for it. Boundaries keep connections healthy. Setting boundaries shows respect for yourself and the others involved.
  6. Listen and be willing to hear what is being said, even if you don’t agree. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. Remember, it’s not always what you say, but how you say it.

Relationships are both fascinating and perplexing to me. This is a topic that will always keep my attention.

 

Keep the pillows handy! They relieve the tension!

March 21, 2021

Greed by Janet Lynas, Ph.D., N.H.D.

The root cause of war is greed. Greed is the root cause of all evil. I hear you saying, “No! There are several causes of war.” But, the root cause is greed. One country wants another country’s gas, oil, land, natural resources etc.

While greed is the root cause of all evil, what is the cause of greed? What is the first act of greed? I believe the first example of greed was in the Garden of Eden. The serpent introduced covetousness to Eve. She is promised the knowledge of God when she eats the apple.

Spiritual greediness

Having said this, let’s look at greediness from the spiritual aspect. Therefore, this addiction spreads throughout all levels of society. Intense desire happens when the natural human impulse to obtain and consume resources makes us aggressive.

In addition, the desire to control and possess material resources becomes a strong craving that consumes people. The problem with greediness is that this compulsion overtakes us.  Therefore, one will not connect to other people in a healthy relationship.

Spiritual Materialism

Most importantly, I have observed in the metaphysical community an all consuming desire to level up. It’s a status symbol to be on a higher level. Yes, it’s easy to get caught up in the frenzy.

Therefore, an individual is overcome with a voracious consumption of religious teachings. Hunger for spiritual truth sometimes becomes overwhelming and derails one. You go on a hunt to find the ultimate religious teacher. Greed often over takes one in the sense that they want to be the favorite trainee of the guru. We want to be seen as special.

In addition, spiritual materialism completely overtakes rational thinking. Greed has devastating effects on our inner emotional health. With anxiety and restlessness overtaking us, we are out of control as craving for rightness continues to grow.

How does greed affect us?

Consequently, this social gluttony, is a vicious cycle that overcomes us. Greed is a selfish desire to acquire more than one needs. So, with greed we have a selfish craving. We grab and hoard things that we really don’t need.

That is to say, we lose ourself in the quest to become enlightened. Meanwhile, instead of moving forward, ground is lost.

Left unchecked, greed often kills. You are damaged with this consuming addiction. Greed is both a good thing and bad. The trick is to keep it balanced. Greed motivates us to grow and evolve. Altruism is a better force for creating positive change. It takes time to develop it.

In summary

There are times when self interest is necessary. The Air Force has a saying,”Me first!” Yes, we do have to put ourselves first at times. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t help others.

To clarify, there are two sides to greed. The shadow side is all consuming. It is addictive. You will have been lost if left unchecked. The light side of greed motivates us to achieve understanding in life. We have been motivated to grow.

March 12, 2021

Heuristic Manipulation by Janet Lynas, Ph.D., N.H.D.

I recently heard the word heuristic. It has many applications. However, I’m only focusing on the psychological use.

What is heuristic?

Heuristic as an adjective that means enabling a person to discover or learn something for themselves. Any approach to problem solving that employs practical methods is not guaranteed to be the best or rational approach. It is nevertheless adequate in achieving an immediate short-term goal. Heuristics can also be mental shortcuts that make decision making easier.

Therefore, another way to look at heuristic, it’s a ‘rule of thumb’ that guides our behavior to chose the best pathway to take.

I like the ‘Dummies 101’ approach to learning. Why make it hard when you don’t have to? I like to use practical solutions to achieve my goals. We use information that is quickly available. Often this information is derived from experiences that helps us in the decision making process or problem-solving.

How are we manipulated through heuristics?

Psychology is used against us daily and we don’t even realize it’s happening. In addition, big business uses heuristics very effectively to increase product sales.

Similarly, marketing takes steps to influence the consumer to buy products they don’t need. You think you’re making wise decisions. Think again!

Think about the product ad that says ‘limited time only’! The adviser even has a clock on the ad ticking down. This clock causes a panic to the consumer! Time is running out and I have to make my decision NOW! You act in a rash manner and buy the product. Having done this, you feel relieved. That is until the product arrives at your door. You eagerly open the package. The box is big! Bigger is better, it means there’s more product. Alas, when you open the box you see it’s half full. Not only is the container only half full, but the ingredients are substandard.

You feel disappointed and fooled. This makes you angry. You’re mostly angry at yourself for listening to the ad. You vow to never be fooled again. At least, until the next clever ad.

Pay attention to the words!

Therefore, with heuristics, logic is replaced with the urge to avoid missing out on that product perceived to be of high value.

Marketing a product takes careful wording. It’s important to play on people’s emotions. People don’t like feeling they were tricked or fooled. It really makes one mad.

I saw an ad recently. The seller said that body washes have a detergent in them. Buy their soap because it’s detergent free.

The ad pointed out that body washes contain detergents. Detergents are chemicals. However, everything on earth is a chemical. Do your research. Read labels. I’m not going to talk in this article about which is better, soap or body detergent.

Get to the point!

The point is, we’re easily manipulated by advertising. You are not stupid. Ad makers are masters at word placement. Psychology is a part of the marketing curriculum. It’s a game. In addition, ads target consumers emotions. No one escapes the marketing tactics.

Heuristics is subversively used in social media. How addicted are you to social media? How often do you check your cell phone to see what’s been posted on social media sites?

Social media addiction is a whole other branch in psychology. In other words, one misses out on living life when our nose is glued to the social apps. Those photos are just a shot in time. Live your life to the fullness you deserve. Do not compare yourself to other! In reality, their lives aren’t that great.

I closed all my social media accounts a few months ago. It was surprisingly easy to walk away. I find I’m staying in contact with friends and family more often. Having real conversations is more rewarding than looking at postings. I’m engaged in life, not a bystander on the sidelines.

Summary

Heuristics manipulation is part of life. Above all, remember to cut yourself some slack. Show compassion to yourself if you happen to fall for an ad’s influence. It’s their job to try to control us. So, in conclusion, go out live your life and enjoy it. Now that you know about heuristics you can play the game better.

March 6, 2021

Anxiety is Learned by Janet Lynas, Ph.D., N.H.D

People think anxiety is hereditary. It’s not. Anxiety is learned. But, my mother or father have anxiety and I inherited from them! No, you learned it from them.

Anxiety

Anxiety is defined as: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

However, I hear you say, “Science says anxiety is genetic.” Let’s look at the facts.

In addition, to my theory that anxiety is learned, science admits they are not 100% sure what causes the disorder. We know worry is a feeling and not a mental illness. Apprehension is caused by the way we learn to live in unhealthy ways. Learned fear makes us react more fearful and stressful in certain situations.

Genes are turned on and off by the way we behave and react to our environment. Therefore, our destiny is not carved in stone. It’s true our behavior greatly influences what our genes do in certain situations, but our genes do not control our feelings.

Yes, studies show the risk of anxiety tends to run in families. But, the role of genetic influence versus the influence of the family environment remains unclear.

Which came first? The egg or the chicken?

Having said this, the same is said with anxiety. We know the brain is rewired and new circuit pathways are forged when new information is being learned. In addition, to the new electrical pathways being built, our genes react to daily stressors.

Each system of the body is connected to the other. Therefore, when one system becomes out of balance, the rest of the body is out of balance. We are a well oiled living machine. One system joined to the other and all working in tandem.

Hypnosis and Anxiety

I do hypnosis on individuals struggling with fear. I educate my clients on the background of apprehension. During the interview with my client, we talk about the concerns they have and when the fears began.

My client is regressed back to the root cause of their struggle with being anxious. More times than not, the root cause is not when or even what they think caused the uneasy feelings.

Often times, my clients are surprised to learn what actually triggered the edginess in their life. The main theme I see with my customers is lack of self-esteem. Low self-esteem and not being confident in one’s abilities to navigate through life is a recurring theme.

I’m sneaky, as are all hypnotist. However, I know how to sneak around the gatekeeper of the mind. The mind does not like change. It will do everything in its power to stay in the rut it creates.

Through hypnosis, I give the client the tools they need to break free of worry. Now with the new found skills, they are therefore able to move forward with confidence. Hence, there is a newfound freedom.

In conclusion

My reward in working with clients is seeing the freedom they have acquired after a hypnosis session. Clients come to the session stressed and anxious. I see them leave relaxed and confident.

There is no better reward for me than to see a client leave after a session with a smile on their face.

Hypnosis is a safe tool for you to use in gaining the freedom you need to live a healthier life. Many of my clients work in the medical field. Once these clients have experienced hypnosis, they refer patients to me. Hypnosis is a good tool to use along with mental health counseling. Counselors refer their patients to me when there is an impasse in counseling sessions.

Give yourself permission to use hypnosis as a tool for good mental and physical health.

For more information on anxiety and other emotional issues order my book Guilty Prayers. See the section on announcements for details on the book. You can order it from Amazon, Kindle, or any book distributor.

© MindBodyConnectionHypnosis.com 2019 | All Rights Reserved.