You look into the mirror and ask, “Who is that person?” It happens to all of us at some point in time. Not only has our physical appearance changed, but so has our identity. Life happens and somewhere along the path of life, we realize we have lost ourselves.

Stages in life

Early in life one begins to wonder, who am I? What is my purpose in life? Who do I want to be? Am I on the right path?

Children look at the world with awe and wonder. Everything is an adventure. Somewhere in the mind of that small child they only see themselves as an extension of their parents. A child has neither the intellect or life experience to look any further than the reality in which they are living. Children truly live in the moment.

Then children come to a point where they develop self-awareness. At this point in development they begin to identify as being the one who will determine who and what they will be in life.

Let’s fast forward to the autumn of life.

What happened?

Throughout our life time our self-image has evolved. Men tend to identify themselves through their professions or jobs. Women tend to see themselves as caregivers to children, elderly parents, to identify through their careers. Both men and women see themselves as a husband or wife, parents to children with whom they are responsible. Or, as a single person who is foraging their way through life making a mark on society on their own terms.

One day we wakeup and look in the mirror and wonder, “Who is that person looking back at me?” My dad who just turned 90 years old sums it up this way, “I’m a young man trapped in an old mans body.”

Some of my friends are going through an identity crisis. One friend lost her only child and then a couple of months later, her husband. Now, she’s no longer a mother or wife. She’s having to redefine who she is. But, how does she do that? It’s not easy.

Other friends are struggling with the impending inevitable loss of a spouse. They see the love of a lifetime fading away and there is nothing they can do to prevent this process from happening. While their focus is on helping their spouse, in the back of their mind is the looming thought, what am I going to do without my spouse?

For others of us, we have gone through divorce and are redefining who we are as a single man or woman. Many have retired and are at a loss about who they are without the job they worked in for so many decades. What do I do with the time I have on my hands now? To be honest, many die from boredom and lack of purpose. Each of us know individuals who work into their 70s and 80s before they retired. Shortly after retirement, they died. Friends and family vow, I will retire early and enjoy life! I will go fishing, I will travel, I will volunteer… Some even decide to move to another country thinking that it will be cheaper and the retirement money will go farther.

However, I challenge you to reconsider those people who chose to work all their life. These individuals live a long and productive life. They find joy in what they are doing. Life is interesting and has a purpose for them. I’m one of those individuals. Retirement is boring for me. I enjoy being around other people who are having interesting lives. Let’s face it, one can travel, but after a while it’s not as fun as it was in the beginning. You can go fishing and sit on the beach, however, after a couple of weeks it loses its luster.

The grass is greener on the other side

We think if I move to another location everything will be better. The grass looks greener and the future brighter. However, remember if the grass is greener, there’s been more manure put on that grass.

We look externally to redefine who we are or who we want to be. I propose instead of looking at the external that we look internally to define who we are now becoming. No one wants to do this because it will mean facing the dark side of the soul. This can be uncomfortable at the least and scary at the most.

Remember, when we look within we are becoming stronger. We are finally learning who we truly are. It has taken 60, 70, 80, 90 years to gain the experience needed before we can define who we are. End of life experiences don’t mean the end of life. It means we have come of age. One knows who they are. It also frees us to expand and become more than we thought we could be. Do you realize that humankind has the ability to live to be well over a hundred years of age? The human body does have that capability. I’ve made the statement before, that the largest growing age group are those over 100.

Evolution

As long as there is life, we have the ability to evolve and expand. Death of the human body is not the death of the individual, it’s a transition to another form of life. We are made up of energy. Energy never dies. It transforms into a higher form of life.

I live a diverse life. Many of my friends are decades younger than I am and we have developed deep connections as friends and colleagues. I find myself always looking inward for the answers I need in my life. My higher-self knows what’s best for me. As a result, life is interesting and abundant.

I love life. I love my life.

“Why are you writing this article?” you ask. I guess because recently I have seen so many of my friends and classmates going through the “dark night of the soul” and they don’t know how to deal with it.

I encourage you to embrace the “dark night of the soul”. I have and I came out on the other end wiser and stronger. It’s not an easy or fast process, but it’s a process that has great rewards on the other side. The only questions you need to ask are, what do I really want and what do I need to know for right now? What do I need to know for this moment in time? Embrace the child within that only wants to live in the moment. After all, right now, this very moment is all we truly have. Remember to live your life moment to moment. Be in that moment and be grateful for that moment. Even moments that are uncomfortable or painful will pass. We gain better understanding and endurance because of these moments.

Live your life to the fullest. Continue to evolve and grow. Even when we think life is over, it’s not. It’s just a new beginning. A new frontier.

Celebrate who you are. Express gratitude for your life. Each of us have abundance in blessings. We are blessed in ways that we will never know. Appreciate and be grateful for every aspect of your life.

Your life is just that, yours. It’s up to you to make your life what you want it to be. Never, forget, YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK. What you think, you manifest into your reality.

So, be careful what you allow your mind to dwell on.