Relationships are hard. It’s very difficult to maintain a connection through the years. However, I have been looking at people who have a long-term link with one another.

What is a relationship?

Relationship is defined as the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

Therefore, how we connect the dots, so to speak, determines how strong the bond is. The list on different relationships is long. However, I’m addressing the most four common types of relationships.

The four most common types of relationships include:

1. Family
2. Friends
3. Work related
4. Romantic

Family Connections

Above all, I think the family alliance is the most difficult to maintain. In other words, we don’t get to choose our family, at least in most cases. I didn’t choose who my birth parents were, but I did get to choose who my adopted father is.

Being born into a family doesn’t mean you will bond with that family group or even like them. Families put the greatest amount of pressure on us. For example, as one matures, family values may not resonate with our internal values. This causes conflicts. The conflict is so intense that family dynamics breakdown and are never repair. I know a family who had to hire a mental health therapist to observe their interactions and teach them how to get along with one another.

In some families, the interconnection comes easy. They are the lucky ones. Above all, we have to remember the majority of families are a combination of each extreme. It takes work to stay connected as a family especially as the group changes. Children grow up, older  members die off.

Therefore, as the family nucleus changes, it’s harder to stay in touch with each other.

Friendships

I get to choose my friends. As a result, it’s easier to like those people in my circle of contacts. Friends come and go. If you have one true friend, you’re lucky. To continue the bond through decades is remarkable. I have a dear friend who has been in my life for several decades. That is to say, we have gone years without seeing each other, but when we reconnect, it’s like we saw each other yesterday. We both moved back to our childhood home town several years ago. She moved back the first of April and I moved back home at the end of that April. No matter where life takes us, the entanglement we share from our childhood will stay strong.

The thing about friendships is that they are not all destined to last a lifetime. Friends ebb in and out of our lives like the waves on a shoreline. Some are meant to last for a short time. Others for a little longer. Cherish these connections.

Coworkers

Oftentimes, we spend more time with coworkers than we do with family or friends. This relationship is tricky. The experiences we share on the job creates an impact on the workplace. The workplace is either a place one looks forward to going or one that is dreaded. Having said this, there’s really very little in-between. How do you navigate through these channels?

• Set boundaries
• Keep home at home and work at work
• Maintain a balance between work and personal time
• Save the chit chat with coworkers for break time

Romantic relationships

This is the most mystical alliance of all to me. I look at my friends and family who have been married for over 30 years. On the outside, it appears that their marriage is a “happily ever after” fairy tail. But, in reality these marriages have their ups and downs like any other long-term connection. I learned in these romantic links the couples have made a point to communicate clearly with each other. The partner may not always like what the other one is saying, but they manage to work through the difficult times.

There are times in these partnerships that they don’t even like one another. However, they seem to work through the situations and survive.

In summary

How do we have meaningful relationships?

1. Be honest at all times. Speak your truth will kindness, compassion and consideration. Choose your words. In other words, think before you speak.
2. Put in the effort. Don’t just show up expecting the other people involved to do all the work.
3. Show respect to the individual you’re with. If you don’t show respect to them, how can you expect for them to be respectful toward you?
4. Don’t judge. You never know the full story. When we judge others, we’re blocking them into a corner and not open to see the full picture. You don’t want to be judged. Don’t do it to others.
5. Set boundaries. Don’t apologize for it. Boundaries keep connections healthy. Setting boundaries shows respect for yourself and the others involved.
6. Listen and be willing to hear what is being said, even if you don’t agree. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. Remember, it’s not always what you say, but how you say it.

Relationships are both fascinating and perplexing to me. This is a topic that will always keep my attention.

 

Keep the pillows handy! They relieve the tension!