“This body isn’t that good,” my partner said on our first encounter.

“What’s wrong with it?” I said and then proceed to tell him what I like about his body.

Men are just as self-conscious about their bodies as women are. Additionally, don’t be fooled by the male facade of confidence they like to project. A man is more likely to hide his insecurities than a woman. After all, it’s not masculine to admit your concerns about your sexual abilities.

Sex & the mature man

Masculine energy is that of action. Men feel that they have to conquer and take charge. That’s sad. However, having said that, let’s dive into the mature male’s sexuality.

Men, don’t pay attention to the television ads about erectile dysfunction, performance, and lack of desire! It’s an ad! The purpose of the ad is to make you feel inadequate so you will buy their product. Statistics show men 70 years old and up have no problem in attaining an erection. The statistics read 75% of men over 70 are able to obtain an erection and maintain it. For the 25% who do have issues, there’s help.

In researching this article, I find it interesting that men as young as their mid thirties are concerned about endurance, keeping an erection for a long time, and keeping up with the woman in their life. Men in their twenties and thirties call their doctor’s office wanting the blue pill to help them maintain an erection longer. Shows you how well the ads are at brainwashing!

However, women don’t have the recovery time men do. Having said this, a woman can go to round two immediately. Therefore, if a woman likes to have a lot of sex, it’s more intimidating to the man. Yes, there are mature women who love having sex!

I find it distressing to see men place so much stress on themselves around sex. Men get out of your head! Stop overthinking it!

Mature men concerns

Men are concerned about the following:

1. Size. Stop watching porn! It’s not real sex. Women are not that concerned about the size of your penis.
2. Performance. Who came up with that anyway? The act of sex is not a performance! Remember that!
3. Did I orgasm too soon? Did she have an orgasm? Just stop!
4. Holding an erection for a long time.

In addition, to these concerns, a man is all up in his head about the mechanics of the sex act. Let’s address the above issues.

First, the size of your penis isn’t that important to a woman. I know that size, appearance, and the shape of a man’s penis is the epicenter of his insecurities and fears. What a woman wants is a man who’s experienced over the size of the penis. It’s not how big it is, but how he uses it!

Second, the way a man defines himself is his biggest obstacle! Again, sex is not a performance. It’s the sharing of emotions, energy, and connection that’s important. You are not responsible from your partner’s enjoyment! She’s responsible for her own pleasure. Remove that stress from the yourself and the relationship.

Then there’s the orgasm. Stop putting this as the focus of the encounter with your partner. In other words, you are putting yourself and your partner under a lot of pressure. As you focus more on the outcome, you’re making it harder for yourself and your partner. Just relax and enjoy the moment!

After that, you worry about holding an erection for a long time. Women don’t want you to wear yourself out! We’re not timing how long you can hold an erection. If you lose it, so what? It can be regained.

Factors affecting the mature man

Men, women could care less about how much body hair you have or don’t have. In addition, the female doesn’t think about the size of your hands or feet or the shape of your body. A genuine woman isn’t interested in how much hair you have on top of your head either. Some of us think bald is sexy.

Conditions affecting your general health and well-being can also affect your sexual health. Illnesses such as high blood pressure, diabetes, hormonal problems, depression or anxiety can cause challenges to being sexually active.

In addition, the medications prescribed for the above health conditions can interfere with sexual response. If side effects from your medications are an issue, talk with your doctor about your concerns.

Next, surgical procedures that affects your pelvis and your central nervous system may have significant impact on your sexual response. There is a recovery time and in most cases the respond returns in time.

Dealing with obstacles as they arise

Differences in libidos are common among couples of all ages. It’s easy to become stuck in a rut when one person initiates intimacy while the other avoids it. If you mainly avoid sex, consider taking charge of some engagement. If you usually initiate sex, try talking with your partner about what you need. In those cases where one partner just isn’t interested in sex, I’m sorry.

Above all, talk with your partner! She can’t read your mind, even though she thinks she can. Communication is essential for any relationship, especially an intimate encounter. Use non-accusing words such as; I feel, I think, What do you feel or think…

Be open and honest, first with yourself about your needs and concerns. Then communicate these thoughts to the woman in your life.

What do women want?

Women want connection emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually with a partner. How do you do this?

1. Slow down. Stay in the moment. Experience what’s happening in that moment. Don’t think ahead.
2. Take your time. Don’t rush through foreplay. Enjoy the touch of your woman. Let her enjoy your touch. Touch is most sensual.
3. Communicate what feels good to you. Help her to be proactive. Listen as she communicates her needs to you.
4. Romance is not about flowers and dinners at a fancy restaurant. Romance is being present and attentive. There’s nothing sexier to a woman than knowing she’s being heard and listened to. Showing her respect will go a long way for her and you!
5. Remember, sex starts in the mind, not in the head. Yes, there’s a big difference. Imagination goes a long way.

Women want to connect. Remember that! To connect to her man is important to a woman. Without connection, a woman can feel like the act of sex is more like a business arrangement. If that happens, the relationship will be short lived.

In conclusion, get out of your head! Slow down and stay in the moment! Connect with your woman!