A reader recently sent me a message asking why I have not written any new articles lately.
I belong to the sandwich group of adults. I’m sandwiched between a parent and adult children. For the past few months most of my attention has been focused on my dad. My dad has been teetering between life and death for the last three weeks. Today, he told me that he thought he was going to pass over last night. This isn’t the first time he’s told me this.
My dad is 90.6 years old. He’s had a long life, that’s true. But, he’s been mad for the last 12 plus years. He’s been irritated since my mother died over 12 years ago. You see, as he put it, this wasn’t the plan, he was supposed to go first. Of course my remark to him was, well we don’t always get what we want.
Let me tell you about my dad. My mother met my dad when they were 14 years old. Mother married another man and I was born. It was a rocky marriage from the start, but the defining moment came one day when he tried to kill me and my mother with a knife. Divorce for my parents generation was considered to be taboo. However, the attempted murder was the breaking point for my mother.
After, her divorce, mother wrote dad a letter telling him she had gotten a divorce. She wasn’t expecting anything to result from her letter. As a matter of fact, she didn’t plan on getting married again. Shortly after she sent dad the letter, he showed up on her doorstep.
They rekindled their friendship and started dating. I went on most of the dates with them. Early on in their reconnecting process, I refused to let mother put me to bed one night. I insisted that dad tuck me in. I was a strong willed three year old. Knew my own mind from the beginning. As he was tucking me in bed on this particular night, I went right to the point and asked him if he was going to be my new daddy. (I still am strong willed and get right to the point.)
It wasn’t long after that they were married. Shortly after they married, the man who I refer to as the “sperm donor” called dad and asked him if he wanted to adopt me. Dad told him that he would meet him at the court house the next day. My dad adopted me then and there.
My dad, is a good man and was a good father to me. I grew up in a middle class home. Money was tight, but he was a good provider and mother was good at managing money. We had a big garden which meant we had plenty of food, we lived in a nice house that his stepdad built, mother made my clothes, and we didn’t do without much.
Fast forward to today. I spent the last week gathering information from the local funeral homes on funeral expenses. Believe it or not, they all charge different prices. I learned that you can order a casket online and it can be as much as 50% to 85% cheaper than the funeral home. Plus next day delivery. Go figure!
Next week I plan to sit down with my sister to make the final decisions on dad’s funeral. One bright note in all of this, dad’s great great-son was born on his birthday six months ago. The circle of life, one life comes in as another is planning to leave.
So, thank you for your patience with my being absent lately. I will be back to writing articles now that certain obligations have been met.
Meet my dad, Charles Lynas. This photo was taken six months ago on his 90th birthday.
