My dad is dying. As I sit with him, he sleeps. I know he’s in the transition stage, moving from this life to the next. I’ve seen hundreds of transformations in my medical career. I sat with my mother as she transitioned many years ago.

When one is ready to leave this life and move into the next, the soul is released. I have been privileged to see the soul leave the body. It’s an amazing transaction.

But let’s go back to the question presented above. How do you say good-bye? People avoid conversations around death. We’re afraid to talk to the dying about the process. I learned early in life how important it is to tell people how you feel about them. No, I’m not talking about when you’re mad at them. Nor am I talking about the superficial “I love you” conversations.

I’m talking about the deep profound conversation that goes down into the gut level. The conversation that comes from deep within the heart and soul. Those conversations are hard. They are hard because we don’t want to reveal our inner most thoughts. It’s scary to reveal your soul to another person, even to the ones we love deeply.

How do you say good-bye?

You start as if each day is the last day you will see that person. Tell them how much you appreciate them. Let them know when they do something that has deep meaning to you. Express your amazement to that person about how you admire the things they do for others. Just say, “I’m grateful you’re in my life.” Conversations don’t have to be deep, just authentic and from the heart.

I told my dad that I appreciate him on more than one occasion. So, even if he doesn’t wake up enough for me to tell him again, I will have already said what needs to be said. I’m sure I will have the opportunity to tell him again before he completes his passage into the next realm. We never want to have the regrets of having unfinished business with the people who mean so much to us.

I picked my dad.

My mother divorced my biological father when I was very young. It was scandalous for people to get a divorce back then. But when someone tries to kill you and your child, it becomes ok. After the divorce, my mother wrote to my “dad” and told him about what happened. She never planned to remarry. However, shortly after she sent the letter, “Dad” showed up on her doorstep. They had been friends since they were 14 years old.

I went on their first date with them. That night I wouldn’t let mom put me to bed. I made dad do it. I was a persuasive four year old. That night as he tucked me in I asked him, “Are you going to be my new daddy?”

It was a short time before he and mom married. Soon after they married, the biological donor called dad and asked him if he wanted to adopt me. They met at the courthouse the next day and it was a done deal. That’s how I chose my dad.

Fast forward 65 years and now I’m sitting with the man who saved my life. My dad. I feel privileged to have had him in my life. I have told him that, but I will tell him again before he passes on.

Conclusion

You start saying good-bye on the first day you meet someone who is important in your life. That way you will never have regrets. You won’t be saying to yourself, “I wish I had told them…”

So, tell the people in your life how much they mean to you. You won’t regret it. But, you will have remorse if you don’t.