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What do you fear? Failure or Success? by Janet Lynas, Ph.D., N.H.D.

We work hard to avoid failure, especially when it comes to our job.  One thinks about failure often.  If I try out this new idea and I fail, I will look like a fool.  I will not proceed with this new idea because I’m afraid I will fail and lose my job.

Self-Sabotage

Why is it that we decide we will fail before we even try out the new idea?  What about the fear of failure in romance?  People run from romance like a wild fire is behind them!  A broke heart is something that we can’t bear to think about, much less endure the pain that comes with failure and rejection.  What is the self-talk that you utter beneath your breath to yourself?  I’m not good enough.  That person couldn’t possibly love me, they are out of my class.

I AM not… smart enough, strong enough, pretty enough, worthy?  Is this what you are telling yourself?  Why are you shooting yourself in the foot before you even take the first step?

Fear of Success

I think people are more afraid of success than they are of failure.  After all, if one fails they can make up hundreds of excuses as to why they failed.  But, if one is successful that will take a certain amount of change.  You have to adapt to the new life style that comes with success and to the new responsibilities that come with it.

With success comes adapting to the expectations that others will have of you.  Success brings us out from the shadows into the spot light.  We tell ourselves how great life will be when success finally become a reality.

“No!  I’m not afraid of success!  I have struggled all my life trying to be successful!”

Really? What to rethink that last statement?

If an individual is not afraid of success, then why is it that we won’t move forward to improve our lives when the right tools for abundance are given to us?  What is the reason you will not take that first step to move forward in life?  Change is scary, it takes us out of our comfort zone.  The subconscious mind does not want change, it wants what it knows!

Take your health for example.  Your thirty pounds overweight, your blood pressure is too high, and you hurt!  To be triumphant will take some effort and to be honest, most of us are just too lazy to actually use the tools we are given to move forward.  We don’t want to do the work that goes with using theses tools to dig ourselves out of the rut we are in.

Hypnosis and the Subconscious Mind

Hypnosis is one of the tools in our shed of self-improvement.  What will it take to get you to pick up the phone and call a hypnotist?  After all, one only has to sit in a chair and relax and listen the hypnotist for an hour or so as the session is conducted.  How hard is that to do?  What excuses are you using to prevent improving you life?  Money?  Really?  Do you want to go there?  After all, you have the money to buy the junk food that is destroying your life.  The money is there when the urge comes to get that new tattoo.

When will you decide to make a positive investment in yourself?  Will it take a life threatening event to get you to move forward?

I think people are more afraid of success than they are of failure.  After all with success, comes change and people are more afraid of change.

So, what is your choice?

 

 

The Road Least Taken by Janet Lynas, Ph.D., N.H.D.

Clients come to me from all walks of life and all ages for hypnosis.  Their reasons mostly boils down to changes in behavior.  Some want to lose weight, others want to stop tobacco use, others want to deal with emotional distress.

My favorite induction to use with my clients once they are in a deep trace is “The Fork in the Road”.  One path leads upward and is a bit of a challenge, but the rewards are huge!  The other path leads downward doing the same thing and has no resistance.

The Path Known

It’s interesting that we say we want change, but in reality we want to stay on the same path that we are currently on.

“So, how’s that working for you?”  I worked the mental health unit at one of the VA outpatient clinics and occasionally the inpatient unit.  This question was most often used by the staff when a patient rejected any suggestions for self improvement.

What’s the definition of insanity?  Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.  The subconscious mind will resist change.  It’s the gatekeeper and will do just about anything to stay on the path known.  I have to be sneaky to get around the gatekeeper.  Fortunately I know how to do that.

Staying on the known path takes no effort.  I take my clients on a journey while they are in a trance.  One year down this path of non-resistance, there is a reflecting pond on the side of the path.  Take a look at your reflection in the pool.  What do you see after one year of continuing the same behavior?  As the walk is resumed and five years down this path, we come to a crystal clear lake.  Take a good look and what do you see after five years of doing the same things over and over?  What do you see after ten years of the same behavior?

It is rather depressing staying on the known path.

Travel the Unknown Path to Change

Once I have taken my client down the path of least resistance, I return them to the fork in the road.  This path leads up and is a challenge to climb.  However, the rewards are gratifying and satisfying.

I guide my client up the path for change to one year of experiencing this positive change.  Once again I have the individual stop by a reflecting pool and look at the results of having changed their approach to their issue.  It feels so good to see the positive results.  Five years out and the results are even more apparent.  The client is feeling so good about themself.  Ten years out, oh my goodness!  Change is wonderful!  The client is freed from the stress and destruction of the behavior that was needing change.

Why do we resist change?

Recently I was walking the trails at Garvan Woodland Gardens close to my house.  I often feel the need to be in nature so I can recharge my batteries so to speak.  On this particular walk, I saw a path that I had not noticed in the past.  Being the curious or nosy individual that I am, I quickly took this new path.  It was a challenging path.  Uphill and very few markers on the path to let me know I was going in the right direction.  At one point, I began to wonder if I had gotten off the path.  But, being more curious than cautious, I treaded forward and upward.

As I was walking on this path, I found myself walking next to the lake.  This particular lake I am really comfortable with because I grew up water skiing and swimming on it.  But, I had not seen this part of the lake before.  It was wild and untouched by mankind’s invasions.  This bay was calm, nurturing and tranquil.  I felt the tension inside of me relaxing.  As I began to open myself to new possibilities, I began to experience excitement welling up within me.  An excitement I had not felt for sometime.

Suddenly, the path turned into a tree lined dirt road shaded by the branches of the trees reaching out over the road.  I soon learned that this road led to the proposed homesite of the Garvan family who had donated the land for development of the gardens.  This dream of theirs was never realized.

I stopped for a moment and looked at my surroundings.  I saw all the new possibilities.  Beauty and positive growth stretched out before me.  All I had to do was continue on this unknown path.

I began to reflect on my own resistance to changes in my life.  Why am I resisting change?  I know the changes are changes for growth and in my highest good.  It was on this walk, on this unknown trail, that I decided to walk the unknown paths in life.  I want to see what life has to offer me.  I know walking the unknown path can be a bit of a challenge at times, but oh my, the rewards are boundless!