We like to think that love makes the world go round. After all there are numerous songs about love, how love makes the heart sing, how devastating lost love is. Love is the emotion that moves us forward, that inspires us. Or is it?
Fear as the motivator
I submit to you that fear is the most important emotion in your life. It’s the one emotion that all your decisions are made from.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about! I don’t live from fear!”, I hear you say.
Hear me out with an open mind as I present my case to you. Humans live in the past. Yes, you do. The decisions you make today are based on what has happened to you in the past. The past is what is comfortable to you. It’s from this knowledge base where the sense of comfort comes.
Humans think that we have to make a difference in the world. We have to be doing something all the time. If one is not doing something, then you’re being lazy. I have to make my mark on the world!
Humankind fears failure. Fear is the strongest emotion we encounter. It’s more powerful than love. What are you afraid of? Some say, “I’m not afraid of anything!” Others may say, “I’m afraid of snakes, rats, spiders, death.” The list of anxieties are long.
Definition of fear
an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
Psychology of fear
The first thing one has to know is that fear is learned. Often as children, we take on the fears of our parents and family. Later we are influenced by the discomfort of our peers. These uneasy feelings are taught to us from birth. Fear of failure being the foremost emotion in our life. Similarly, being fearful can prevent one from taking chances and achieving success.
Some of the basic forms of distress include:
- Death. The fear of no longer existing and not knowing what lies beyond this human experience.
- Loss of control. We are afraid of bodily harm and that we will have to depend on others to take care of us. Being in a situation where control is taken away from us is terrifying. Commanding control is ingrained in us.
- Separation. The lie that is taught from birth is that one is separated from others and the Creator. I feel this is the biggest lie that humans buy into. Separation makes me feel lonely and anxious.
- Loss of self. Fear of one’s integrity and being doubted by others. Shame, humiliation and lost of self-respect. If I don’t know who I am, how can I function in life?
- Forfeiture of what had been accomplished. People are often afraid of losing what they have achieved in life, status, monetary gains, material status, and power.
How to change your life and move away from fear
However, is it possible to move out of living in fear? What steps do I take to move out of fearful living?
- Learn the difference between fear and being prudent.
- Reframe your thinking into being excited about the unknown.
- Rewire the brain. Take action to view life from a new perspective. Develop self-confidence and move forward with courage.
- Chose taking action over security. Security is a form of fear that prevents us from trying new experiences. Security keeps us in the past.
Take control of fear
How do I take control of the fear that keeps me in the past?
- Be in the moment. By being active in the moment, there is no time to let your imagination run wild on what might take place.
- Look at the fear realistically. What is the worse thing that can happen? Is it likely to happen? Most of the time we worry about things that never take place.
- Learn from past experiences. Having a plan on how to deal with a past situation will help you move forward.
Above all, remember you do not have to live in the past. Now is the time to move forward in your life with courage! In other words, rewire the brain and think outside of the box!
In conclusion, you are not your past! For example, the experiences of the past are learning tools to motivate one to move in a different direction and try a new way of doing things. After that, trust in yourself to make the best decisions based on the information you have on hand at the time. Therefore, we moved into the now moment and being in the now, the brain is rewired for new experiences.
The chains that held us in the past are broken. Now, you are living in the present which is a better place to be in!
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