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Why Do You Eat? by Janet Lynas, Ph.D., N.H.D.

Why do you eat? No, I’m not talking about the obvious reasons. Most Americans eat without thinking. Mindless, meaningless eating. We’re not hungry, but we’re stuffing our mouths. We watch the clock and eat by the clock because it has been programmed into us to eat our meals at certain times.

Americans are obese. Many morbidly obese.

The military has a problem in enlisting volunteers because of the obesity. In one town I lived in, there was Jenny Craig, Weight Watcher’s, then the Navy, Air Force, Army, and Marines all lined up in the same shopping strip. Recruiters would refer potential enlistees to the diet centers so they could lose enough weight to join the military. While seeing these businesses lined up next door to each other was comical on one level, in reality it tells a sad story about the American culture.

Eat to live, don’t live to eat!

Do you listen to your appetite? Yes, your appetite will talk with you. You just have to listen. I’ve written an article on this under hypnosis, so I won’t go into detail on this topic in this article. My point is, do you pay attention to what your body is telling you? Many of us have lost the art of listening to our body. We don’t live in the moment, which is a topic for another time.

I listen to my appetite. At least I do now. I was programmed as a child when to eat. Breakfast was a struggle for my mother. I wasn’t hungry, but she insisted I eat breakfast before I went to school. She was happy if I ate a peanut butter sandwich. Then as a child, lunch was on a schedule. You ate when the school said it was lunch time. And let’s not forget supper. In my house it was at 5:00 p.m., hungry or not. Then there was the snack before bedtime. Mindless eating usually programmed by the commercials we watched on television during the evening.

Now I eat to live. That doesn’t always go over well with other people at times. When I was living in Delaware and working, my boss would tell me that lunch was ready. He had already lectured me for not eating breakfast and he often bought lunch for the staff. When I would decline eating, I would get another lecture. One day when he was lecturing me about eating lunch, especially since I have not eaten breakfast, the rest of the staff in unison shouted, “She’s not hungry!” I guess they were tired of hearing him lecture me. I know I was.

How do I eat?

I learned to listen to my appetite and eat only when I’m hungry. For me, that’s usually once a day in the evenings. Some days, I might feel hungry earlier and I will eat a snack. No, I don’t have an eating disorder and I’m certainly not under weight.

I feel better since I started listening to my appetite and eating when I’m actually hungry. I don’t have the afternoon energy slump or brain fog. I’m better able to focus on the task at hand.

I’m not much of a meat eater. I might go days without eating meat. I like my veggies and fruit. I do get into a rut at times and eat the same foods. But, eating a variety of different foods is essential. We need a broad selection of food to receive the vitamins and minerals we need to be healthy.

So, why do you eat?

It’s been my observation that people in general are trying to fill an empty space within. What do I mean by that?

Emotionally, we have a void within and are trying to fill the emptiness with food. Once one realizes that food won’t fill the void, then recovery can begin. It takes courage to look within. It’s not for the faint at heart! Everyone feels a void at times. The problem begins when you ignore the loneliness that’s dwelling within. Gather up the courage and look at what’s behind that empty space. If you’re having trouble doing that, then it may be time to ask for help from a counselor.

This article is not for me to go into the psychological aspects. It’s to get you thinking about why you’re eating. What are you avoiding? Why are you destroying your health? I’m not going to lecture you on the health risk from being obese. You know what they are. However, I do want you to think about listening to your appetite.

Summary

Your first assignment is to ask yourself before you eat anything, “Am I really hunger?” This is not going to be easy because you have programmed yourself to eat at certain times and under certain circumstances. Learn to listen to your body. This is going to take some practice. Especially to get back into sync with your body. The mind will tell you that you’re hungry when you’re not. It will tell you that you’re going to starve. Learning to listen to your body is not going to be easy. Eating by the clock is a habit that will be hard to break. But, you will be able to break this habit. Once you do, you will be glad that you took the time and made the effort to do so.

So, take this first step and learn to listen to your appetite again. It’s worth the effort!

It doesn’t have to be a lonely or difficult journey.

Feeling Lost? by Janet Lynas, Ph.D., N.H.D.

Do you find yourself feeling lost during this time of lockdown?  How do you find yourself if you’re feeling lost?

Setting the foundation

You feel very uncomfortable because you are in an unfamiliar situation and don’t know how to deal with the current environment. The feeling of being lost within yourself can cause one to be in an obscure state of existence.

Why people can feel lost
  1. You feel lost because you have lost connection with your heart and soul
  2. We live our lives according to how others think think we should live, not what we think
  3. Believing other people’s opinions about us are more important than our own opinion
  4. You have a distorted perspective of yourself
  5. Listening to the voice of fear about the “what ifs”, instead of seeing the “what is”

This list is short, but touches base on the main reasons why one can feel lost. Everyone feels lost at one time or another. However, feeling lost isn’t the problem. It becomes an issue when you are unable to find your way.

Finding your way

These are precarious times. Life as we have known it, is no longer the same. It will never return to the way “things were”. That’s not a bad thing to happen to the world. Change is more often is a good thing. Change gets us out of the rut!

  • Make time to go “into the closet” so to speak. Be alone. This is very different from being lonely. Listen to that voice deep inside of you.The voice giving you support and love.
  • Know yourself. Drop the opinions of others about who you are. Get to know you. It’s a journey that may take you a lifetime, but it doesn’t matter how long it takes.
  • Dump the mental and emotional garbage that other people have labeled you with. Those are their thoughts and their thoughts don’t count. Develop a healthy attitude about yourself.
  • Take action. Learn what’s important to you. Know your heart’s desire. Realize the only boundaries are the ones you put on yourself.
  • Let go! Let go of the fears, fears are an illusion that hold you back from being the best you can be.
  • Above all, live your life! Do what makes you happy! In the end, it’s the actions you take that bring joy and happiness into your life that counts. It’s the love that you experience within yourself that has meaning. Don’t get to the end of your life only to realize that you didn’t live your life! Doing things isn’t living.

In summary

No power in the universe is going to save you. Only you have that power. Liberation comes from you, no one else can liberate you. Having said this, you believe in what you identify with. Therefore, be very careful with who or what you identify with.

I once was asked to do hypnosis on a young girl who was putting too much pressure on herself to “be on the right path”. The pressure to do the right thing at all times was an enormous burden she was putting on herself. At the age of 15 years old, she was not able to enjoy life because of this self imposed weight. Anxiety had a foothold on her.

Through hypnosis, she was able to see there are many paths in life and they are all the right path. There is no such thing as only having one path to follow. In addition to learning that her choices were unlimited, she was able to see the abundance life has to offer.

Resources are not limited! There is abundance for all! For your own sake, live the life you have been given. It’s only too late when you have died. Make the choice to find yourself now!

 

 

 

 

The Empty Spot by Janet Lynas, PhD., N.H.D.

“I just bought the cutest pair of shoes! However, I really don’t need them since I already have 75 pairs of shoes. But, they are so cute!”

“My new camera just came in! It has many features that are really cool! I may not use some of the features, but what the heck?”

“I just got my credit card statement. My toys amount to $20,000.00 in debt!”

Spending out of control

Often times people find themselves compulsive buying. The closets are filled with gadgets and clothes that are not used or worn. Before they know it, the spending is out of control. How did this happen? Debt is mounted up to the size of a mountain.

However, we find spending and buying doesn’t satisfy us. The more we buy and spend, the more stressed one becomes from the accumulation of debt.

Eating disorders

“I’ve gained 5 more pounds! What’s going on? I don’t eat that much!”

“I binge eat and then I throw up what I ate to keep from gaining weight.”

“I’m refusing to eat! I’m not going to gain weight!”

The empty spot

How does over spending and eating disorders have anything in common? For instance, one has to do with money and the other with food. There is no common connection between the two!

But, there is a common ground. In addition, I will not only show you the commonality between them, but I will show you the root cause.

Psychologist have long known that when people overspend or have an eating disorder, they are trying to fill up an empty space within. What is this empty space? Above all, what causes it?

Emotional emptiness

Mankind is not good at recognizing our emotions. It’s hard to admit to oneself that there is a ‘lacking’ within. For instance, we don’t always realize that there is a feeling of meaningless in our life. To admit that there is an unoccupied space within us, would be admitting that there is something wrong in our existence.

If there is a feeling of disconnect, then something has to be wrong with me. I’m unworthy and unimportant to others. I feel alone and my life is pointless.

In addition to feeling lonely and unimportant, one doesn’t know how to deal with these feelings. So, subconsciously you begin to try to fill the emptiness with things. If I buy those shoes, I will feel better about myself. That high powered camera will give me new opportunities. It doesn’t matter that in reality, we have no idea about photographic techniques.

The same applies to eating disorders. When you overeat, the need is to fill up that vacant space within. If binge eating is the problem, one is wanting to fill up the space and throw out the space at the same time. In addition, the anorexic is trying to kill or starve the pointless sensation they feel on the inside.

What is the emptiness?

Psychology tells us that the vacancy within has many different causes. While this is true, the root cause can be traced to loneliness.

Loneliness is defined as sadness because one has no friends or company. In addition, it also means the quality of being unfrequented and remote; isolation. Remember, isolation doesn’t have to be in the geographical remoteness.

Loneliness is an emotionally painful sensation. Often it’s associated with an unwanted feeling of not being connected to others or a lack of intimacy.

Keep in mind that one can be lonely in a crowded room. When you do not feel a part of the group or connected emotionally to others, it does not matter if you’re with other individuals or not.

Signs of loneliness
  1. You Have Been Shopping A Lot
  2. Binge-Watching
  3. You’re Not Feeling Rested
  4. One Takes A Lot Of Long, Hot Showers And Baths
  5. You Sleep A Lot Or Not Well At All
  6. We Feel Symptoms Of Depression Coming On
What can you do about being lonely?
  1. Realize That Loneliness Is Actually A Feeling.
  2. Realize That You Are Not Alone. Other People Feel The Same Way.
  3. Get Involved In Some Activities.
  4. Get A Pet. Remember, That Pet Takes Work. Be Responsible.
  5. Find A Support Group.
  6. Call Or Get Together With Those You Know. Reach OUt.
  7. Be In The Present Moment.
  8. Be Kind To Yourself and Others.
Conclusion

Why have I written about loneliness? These are difficult times. In addition, one finds that the quarantine we find ourselves in right now is hard to deal with. Not only have we been mandated to be in quarantine, but society is experiencing prolonged isolation. We have become a faceless community by being forced to wear mask when in public. (I’m not debating the right or wrong of wearing mask.)

The psychological implications are many during this time of isolation. Subconsciously, we don’t have the sense of trust when we’re not able to see the faces of the people being interacted with. Depression and suicide is more of a problem.

In addition, when an infant can’t see the faces of the people caring for them, they smile less and they don’t interact as much.

In conclusion, recognizing the emptiness within gives you better insight into your emotional make-up. Deal with the vacancy deep within and you will have a better outlook on life.

Remember, this too shall pass!

Check out my book, Guilty Prayers by Janet Lynas, Ph.D., N.H.D. For more information on my book look under the announcement section.

 

 

Do You Know Who You Are? by Janet Lynas, Ph.D., N.H.D.

I received a phone call one day last week from a friend. She told me that she was lonely. I asked her what she had done that day and she responded by telling me all the people she had talked with so far that day. I was the 5th or 6th person she had called.

Social media is booming right now with so many people being home. I noted a posting from a former classmate stating she was feeling lonely. This particular past classmate is raising a seven year old grandson. She has been posting photos of activities she and her grandson are doing at home. She’s also homeschooling this child now that everyone is in quarantine.

I can’t help but wonder why people feel lonely during this time-out we are all in.

Loneliness vs Isolation

Why is it that people feel lonely when they are surrounded by other people? How do we understand the underlying motivation to our loneliness? What is the difference between being lonely and feeling isolated?

The first lie we’re told is that we are separated from God. In reality, that’s not true. Each of us are connected to I AM THAT I AM. This is not what I want to talk with you about. But, keep in mind, this is an underlying factor to loneliness.

I’m lonely

The short definition of lonely is: sad because one has no friends or company. So, if you have friends and you have communication with them, why are you lonely? Where is that feeling of loneliness coming from? I understand being in a relationship and feeling lonely, even though that person was with me. It’s not a good feeling to have.

You can be in someone’s company, but if there is no connection mentally, physically or emotionally, one can certainly feel aloneness.

I’m sure you remember reading about babies during World War II who where in an orphanage and these babies were dying even though they were being cared for. These babies were feed, diapered, sheltered, and given what they needed for survival. Yet, they were failing to thrive and many died. As it turned out, the orphanage was short staffed. These babies didn’t have the physical contact of touch and human interaction. They died because of lack of human touch and contact.

We’re not babies who need the extra touching and cuddling to thrive. Yes, as adults, we still need human contact, but I want to dig a little deeper. What is the emotional and spiritual component that is being overlooked?

Isolation

The definition of isolation is: being separated from other people, segregation, quarantined.

Notice the main difference between lonely and isolation is the word ‘sad’. Both definitions are similar, but the subtle difference is how one feels.

Above, we talked about being with someone and feeling lonely because of lack of connection with that person. The lack of connection can come from not having common interest to growing apart from each other.

Many marriages have failed because couples didn’t marry for the right reasons. The foundation for these marriages is loneliness. People don’t like being alone; so they get married. Several years into the marriage they find being with someone and still being lonely is often worse than being by ones self. Loneliness is a weak foundation for a marriage. It’s a weak foundation for any relationship.

Who am I?

The majority of people on earth don’t really know themselves. Hold on before you tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about!

Men tend to identify themselves through their jobs. They see themselves by what they do. The profession gives the man his identity in life. Men judge themselves by how well they are able to provide for their families. The provider and protector.

Women on the other hand are not that dissimilar. We judge ourselves by how well we care for our families and by our professions as well. Nurture and caregiver.

However, do you really know who you are? What are your core values? I’m not talking about the values that we are taught by our parents and society. If you examine those values you were taught as a child, you may find that they don’t register with you. We are taught who we are as children by what others tells us about ourselves.

“You’re such a sweet girl. You never cause any problems.”

“You’re a great athlete! You’ll go far in life!”

“Do you know how smart you are? You can do anything in life.”

Or just the opposite: “Why can’t you do anything right?”

“If you lose some weight, you’ll get a boyfriend.”

Forget about what you’ve been told!

Release the programing from your childhood. These beliefs are what others think about you. Pay attention to your self-talk. What are you telling yourself? Are you still stuck in the programing of your youth? Let it go! 

Take this time while we are all in quarantine to learn who you really are. What are your strengths? Your weaknesses? Remember what you think of as a weakness is really a strength.

How do I learn who I am?

Good question! But, keep in mind to know one’s self is an ongoing process. Humankind is always evolving and growing. No one is the same today as you were ten years ago. That person you were ten years ago has had ten years of new experiences which has changed you.

Let’s get started on this journey of self discovery.

Be honest with yourself. There is no right or wrong here. No one else needs to see what you have written down about yourself.

  1. Know your own personality. Are you optimistic? Pessimistic? Happy or sad?
  2. What are your core values are. What’s important to you? How do you relate to these values to your lifestyle? Are you self condemning or do you show yourself compassion when you mess up?
  3. Get to know your own body. Do you listen to your body? Your body does talk to you. Have you stopped long enough to ask your body what it  need to flourish? When was the last time you treated your body to a nourishing moment of rest?
  4. Get to know your dreams. What is your heart’s desire? How badly do you want it? If you had your heart’s desire, how would your life be different?
  5. What are your likes and dislikes. Believe it or not, most of us only think we know what we like and don’t like. For years I thought I didn’t like asparagus. I didn’t like the asparagus in a can, but when I tasted fresh steamed asparagus, I loved it!

Think about these things listed above. Really take the time to think about what you value in life. Not what others have told you that you should cherish. Write down your thoughts, it helps you to better identify who you really are. Seeing what you think in writing helps you to be more honest with yourself.

The first step is the most important step in self discovery!

Moving forward can be difficult, especially if you don’t really know who you are.

“I don’t know how to take the first step”, you say. “What do I do?”

  1. Get quiet and focus on your breathing. Just focus on how you’re breathing. Breath from your diaphragm. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. If you’re breathing from the diaphragm (like we are supposed to be) your stomach will rise higher than your chest.
  2. Take a deep breath in slowly and release it slowly. As you breath in feel your muscles relaxing. Breathing out slowly and let go of the stress you’ve been carrying around.
  3. Ask yourself, “What do I need to know?” Listen to that inner voice as it gives you your answer. Trust what you hear.
In summary

Open your mind and heart. Dump out old programming. Clean house so to speak. Throw out those beliefs that were feed to you as a child. Once you clear out the clutter, you will have space for your own beliefs. This is the beginning of a new love affair with yourself.

Being lonely is not a bad thing. Being lonely is however, your inner-self calling out for self-care. Take advantage of this isolation and get to know the wonderful person you truly are.

 

You might want to order my book: Guilty Prayers by Janet Lynas, Ph.D., N.H.D. on Amazon or Kindle or any book distributor.

Also check out my YouTube: HEY! IT’S BREAK TIME!